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So, there are three gas stations between my campus and my house. I actually have a life ban from one of them (which doesn't really matter because I'd never give those pricks my money anyway!) and another is a teeny tiny bit out of the way. So, on my way home from the school I stopped at the usual station to get a couple gallons of gas and some junk food.

I was pumping gas and listening to This American Life when I noticed some guy a couple pumps away staring at me. Usually I like to adopt the whatev, man, I'm pretty, let him stare attitude, but he was actually really creepy. I was already formulating a plan: fucking run like crazy and take the long, looong way home.

But then he left. He left and I watched him pull out of the parking lot and go away. So I figured that it'd be safe to run in and get my Flamin' Hot Cheetos anyway.

So I pull right up to the best parking spot in the lot and walk in. I grab my food and wandered over to the candy aisle when all of the sudden he's there, pocket-jerking like he has the last penis on earth and trying to romance me with lovely little phrases like "you're sexy. You're bald. That's cool. You're SO *Unf* sexy."

I decided the best thing to do would be to buy my stuff and ask the attendant to stall while I made my getaway, which I guess worked well because he still wasn't out when I pulled out. I took my time and the long, long, long, detouring way home anyway.

What the fuck is wrong with people and why can't I ever attract a normal sort of guy ever? GRRRRRRRR


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 18th, 2010 02:27 am (UTC)
Apr. 18th, 2010 03:19 pm (UTC)
It's so ridiculous! I went in with my little sister one day (she's sixteen years old) and Ma was out in the car. Ma had handed my sister some cash, and I had some in my purse and the shopping list was extremely simple: candy, lotto ticket. We'd been having a very bad day so that was our medication.

We gather all our candy and I go up and order the lotto ticket and then ask my sister to hand me the money.

Right, so, you wouldn't think anything of that, would you? Well, apparently I was trying to buy a lotto ticket for a minor and the rednecksonofa-- anyway, she threw a fit. I said "ok, sister, you get the candy and I'll get the ticket."

Nope. That wouldn't work either. So we just walked out. I told my Ma and she and I went back in. She wouldn't sell Ma a lotto ticket either.

That's when the shouting began.

Neither of us were violent, but apparently if you use "cunt" in a sentence more than two or three times people get offended. (I should note that Ma wasn't swearing that much [maybe not even at all], and I stayed behind to swear a little more because I HAD A POINT TO MAKE, DAMNIT). Anyway, I was politely asked to "LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK."

I mean, it's a fucking lotto ticket. What could my sister even do with it? She couldn't cash it in! Was she going to roll it up and snort coke with it?

And the woman was such a flaming cunt! I can actually see her not selling me a ticket, but to my Ma? Really?! And it wasn't even that. It was that "I'm better than you because I have fewer teeth and ten years on you attitude."

Aaaaaaanyway, it was a very dark time in my life and she rubbed me in the wrong fucking way.

The story ends with us going to the other gas station (the one with the pecker-puller) where I told them my woes and they laughed and laughed and laughed. I guess that's what lulled me into a false sense of security.
Apr. 18th, 2010 08:38 pm (UTC)
That's ridiculous wtf! Anyway I love the shenanigans you get into. Not many people can claim to have a lifelong ban on a gas station! You should be proud.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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